So like most of our generation I find myself occasionally obssessed with Facebook. There are days where I can spend hours and then times when I don't log on for weeks. And with it now available on my phone I find that the only real reason I need to go online anymore is when I am using it to kill time. Yet is all this information about everyone a good idea, especially when it comes to relationships.
Now I'll admit that I'm one of those people who when I'm "with" someone I write on their wall and tag pictures of us together, kind of a cyper marking of my territory. I also admit that I have issues, especially with trust, and this leads me to analyze the different things that occur on facebook, especially when it deals with other girls. Now don't think that I'm one of those girls that if you talk to another I will freak out on you, but at the same time I believe that certain rules should be followed in order to make things run more smoothly.
That's why I find my recent semi-relationship in such a tangle. He is the type of guy who is willing to help others which is perfectly fine and I actualy like about him, to a point. And this willingness to be nice and help and facebook have collided in a way that has me questioning is this really going to work.
Here's the story. There was this big event a date event, and he asked me to be his date and I was ecstatic. I instantly went online and bought a new dress and jewelry and planned out my hair and rearranged my schedule so that I could make it, canceling plans with quite a few people who are still mad at me, but it was gonna be worth it. It was going to be a fun night where we would get all dressed up and drink and party and get to be coupley in a very public way which is a huge deal! Then the dilemma, a few days before the event he tells me that his friend, who is a girl, is moving states and he will most likely never see her again and she is coming to visit for a night, on that night, the night that I had planned and primped and was the only light at the end of a dark tunnel of crap that I was dealing with. Needless to say I was speechless, I mean what could I really say? He's not techinically my boyfriend so I couldn't completely object so I was just silent for most of the night and asked could he please ask her to come another night? Why does it have to be that night, my night, my happy ever after night. But he wouldn't budge so I sucked it up granted I wasn't exactly the nicest person the rest of the night but I figured one night fine but he would need to follow my rules, the big one being Absolutely no sleeping in the same bed.
Things only got worse when I found out that she would be saving two nights and he was a complete butthole and didn't see why it was such a big deal. I'm ashamed to say at this point I wanted to bawl. I wanted to crawl into myself and just die, I felt absolutely crushed. How could he not see how important this was! And if she was coming two nights why not just come the one, the one after my happily ever after night. I mean its not like I've ever heard this girl mentioned, and she wasn't in his cyber world at all! (I know cause I checked, can you blame me for wanted to know what I was up against?)
So the night comes and I'm a mess so how do I solve this dilemma, I get drunk, really, really drunk with my best friend on wine while watching Elf and various other movies. I also send texts to some of my best guy friends who instantly know I'm feeling down in the dumps and send me greatly reassuring texts thereby boosting my mood. The second night I solve my problems by having several people from his house over to my apartment to drink, with a strict invitation that he is not allowed to come. And this little bit of information that his brothers come over without him well it made me feel better, much much better.
So those days end we talk about it and I figure she's moving no longer an issue, but oh boy was I ever wrong! This girl just won't leave! Every other day she's writing on his facebook wall, commenting on his pictures (and not even legit ones, ones that are years old and his profile pics! Like really?!?). Now I know that it looks bad that I know this, however in my defence I did not stalk him to figure out all this (not that I am above stalking, but I just havne't felt like I needed to), I found it all out via that lovely invention called the facebook news feed, cause after every comment she made he either liked it or made another comment. And then to top it all off she writes one day how much she misses him and needs him to hold her and the very next day puts a picture on his wall saying how much her and her cat miss him! I'm sorry but since when is that "Just Friends" behavior? I know tons of guys and I would never put how much I need them to hold me or a picture of me and my pet on their page! That's just not normal! That's flirting openly without any problem and everytime I see it I get a pressure in my chest and my stomach twists into knots.
It also makes me wonder, how great of a guy can he be if he just allows this kind of blatent PDA from a girl who is just his friend?
This brings me to my original point, with this kind of availability to each others information what kind of world are we building? Cause personally I know that it is currently my foe causing me to lose trust and feelings that I have for someone making me distant and unwilling to commit.
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